I'm still in the process of debating how I want to use this blog. I have an idea for a story, but the problems are multiple. It's going to be somewhat ambitious for me as I have mediocre talent for writing. (I'd love to be Atwood, buuuut I'm not.) I'm coming out of a depression that side-lined my writing for years-- I couldn't even write about my own thoughts which was a painful reminder of how wrong everything felt on the days I'd realize it. (To solve it, I decided to get a master's degree in Library and Information Science aka Library school where I learned academia is bullshit, group projects can really suck, and I like getting drunk on vodka. And library stuff too.) And we've been sheltering for a year, so I'm not sure I even know how people actually act. I already had few friends because I'm a grump that doesn't want to deal with other people.
I'm not sure what I want to do with this blog. Should I post the pieces I work on that I like? Should I just tell the story as is? I've already changed parts about the beginning four times now, and it looks like I'm heading down that direction again as I didn't have some terms well defined. I am definitely a by the seat of my pants style of writer which makes things so much more frustrating at times. But I'm also not great at making up ideas. I guess it's sort of like those artists who have aphantasia, but still make art. Except I just have issues coming up with ideas in a coherent fashion. I have to explore the idea exhaustively before I can made it make some sense. And even then, I end up having to continue exploring while writing and then rewrite things and explore some more. For every page I like, I probably have written ten other pages just to distill into that one. (Probably more, but I'm not good at math either.)
Anyway, I'm about halfway through the story written (not posted), and I keep working on the ending to avoid writing the second part. Partly because of that, and because I'm going to have to retweak the beginning again (hopefully not drastically-- AGAIN), I don't post on a regular schedule. So if you've happened across here, hello! I don't really know what I'm doing here either.
